xmas eve

you asked me did i do you any good yes i said if it weren't for you i would still be driving for a living no glamour job i said but it's better than driving i'm making decent money but that was not the question not the real question not really you really meant to ask me do you love me do you know me do you know that i'm sick that i will die soon will you miss me will you remember me do you know do you care do you understand what i've been telling you for years one symptom after another no i did not know i did not understand and i don't understand why i did not hear you so someone else who never met you but remembered that i mentioned you he phoned me xmas eve to tell me that your death notice was in the paper so i've thought about one phone conversation after another and i can't figure out why i did not hear you why didn't you tell me why didn't you say so in plain words you know how clueless i am i phoned paul he was stunned he did not understand either your funeral was a nightmare he said i asked him to send me a picture of you because i had nothing to remember you by but he never did i'm not surprised he was in a daze he probably didn't know who i was though he said he did

Gotland

Everything

There will never be a theory of everything, because we'll never know that we've seen everything.

What the Angels heard

Your Tears are not enough for Me.
Regret will not erase the Crime
of shaking Apples from the Tree,
and dropping Mankind into Time.

Ominous

We are office workers, waiting at the bus stop in the morning. We know that the express will arrive, and we know when. But, we gaze into the distance, toward the corner where the bus will appear, as though we are searching the sky for omens.

The Art of the Possible

It was a dark and stormy night

I got off the streetcar and headed for a donut shop, where I encountered an old acquaintance, who told me that he had just been released from prison. He had served three years for selling cocaine from his suburban house. He took no trouble to hide his activities, although in court he did pretend that comings and goings from the house were those of partygoers and band members. There was enough noise coming from the house to make this explanation plausible, he thought, but it was not plausible to the jury, who convicted him in thirteen and a half minutes.

Gotland

Tram stop

Excuse me, sir.
He is young. Long, blond hair. Smiling, uncertain. Slight accent. Dutch, I think, maybe German. Straddling a bicycle.
Mm?
Is it permitted to take bicycles on the tram?
I've never seen one on a tram.
And you are on the tram nearly everyday?
Nearly. Where are you going?
Downtown.
You don´t want to cycle there in the rain, I imagine.
No.
I want to tell him about the buses which carry bicycles, but he pedals away before I can speak. I cannot avoid thinking that I have misled him, disappointed him, wrecked a simple communication that could have helped him. I often feel this way in conversation, no matter what the subject.

Night

He comes at night. I see him as a darker shadow. Sometimes I see his face. He is about to say something. I think of an actor struggling to remember a line. So many years have passed.

Overheard

No one ever says, "That's one of the worst rainbows I've ever seen!" or "What an ugly sunset!"

Fårö

Sometimes

Are you a man? a REAL man?
Sometimes, I replied. Sometimes.

Linguistics

One summer, long ago, I traveled to Victoria, capital of British Columbia, to visit friends whom I had not seen for many years.
I reached a hotel. After completing the formalities, the desk clerk said, How are things in Vancouver?
I have no idea. I haven't seen Vancouver in years.
You have a Vancouver accent.
What does a Vancouver accent sound like?
It sounds like you.

Life, The Meaning of

What's the meaning of life?
Why do you ask?
You look like you know.

One sunny afternoon

In a bus shelter, one sunny afternoon, I was tying my shoelaces, which had come loose several times that day. As I tied the second pair with a single knot, I looked up to see an old lady, who evidently had been watching me.
Why don't you double-knot your laces? Don't you know how? My mother taught me to do that when I was a little girl!
I smiled. Now I am fifty, I thought. No one had taught me to double-knot my laces when I was a child. Why not? I wondered. And why had I not noticed others doubling their knots? When I was in my twenties, someone remarked that he thought I was an orphan.
But the old lady, who was at least my mother's age, had taught me after all. Now, I double-knot my shoelaces. They haven't come loose for many years.

Overheard

Now that I've turned 40, I can say things like: You're too young to know! It was before your time! It's a shame you never knew so-and-so! Back in the day! When I was young! When I was your age!

Quest

How are you doing, sir?
Fine, thanks. And you?
Doing great, sir. Did you find what you were looking for?
Yes I did, thanks. And you?
Still searching, sir. Still searching.

Priority

What I bought instead of Wallis Budge's book on hieroglyphics ($6): a tuna sandwich ($2.99); a bottle of orange juice ($1.25); the weekend paper ($1.50)....(total $5.74).

Night bus

The night bus carries bicycles now. No more than two at a time, though. Two bedraggled street people, a man and a woman, load their bikes onto the rack. One bike has a flat tire. When two other would-be passengers appear with bicycles, they realize that they aren't able to take their bikes with them. One locks his bike to a pole near the stop. The other, disgruntled, rides away. Perhaps he will try the next bus, the last of the night.