xmas eve

you asked me did i do you any good yes i said if it weren't for you i would still be driving for a living no glamour job i said but it's better than driving i'm making decent money but that was not the question not the real question not really you really meant to ask me do you love me do you know me do you know that i'm sick that i will die soon will you miss me will you remember me do you know do you care do you understand what i've been telling you for years one symptom after another no i did not know i did not understand and i don't understand why i did not hear you so someone else who never met you but remembered that i mentioned you he phoned me xmas eve to tell me that your death notice was in the paper so i've thought about one phone conversation after another and i can't figure out why i did not hear you why didn't you tell me why didn't you say so in plain words you know how clueless i am i phoned paul he was stunned he did not understand either your funeral was a nightmare he said i asked him to send me a picture of you because i had nothing to remember you by but he never did i'm not surprised he was in a daze he probably didn't know who i was though he said he did